Okay, look: when I said nothing any good ever came out of Mauk, I didn’t know about Lucinda. I didn’t meet her until a few years later, after she and Mike got married and she popped out a few kids and got fat. But I’ll admit, in her prime she was quite the looker.
Stunning too; she had about the darkest skin I’d ever seen, black like coal almost, but her features were like she was from India or something, with a straight, thin nose, and perfectly straight hair. Nice set of boobs too! I admit that if she wasn’t married to my best friend I would have tried to get that bitch in bed, and even then should she ever offer I wouldn’t turn down a roll in the sack with her. But that’s not the point here.
What I want you to understand is that I didn’t sign up for this stupid narrator job. It was thrust on me, okay? If I had the opportunity I could do better things, and then you wouldn’t have to listen to me whine about what a shitty place Mauk is, even if one of the best woman in the world was raised there.
I know I’m not supposed to break “the illusion” of omniscience here and admit to knowing about as little as you all do, and I’ll probably get fired for it, but damn, I’m almost 40 years old, and I don’t even have a girlfriend anymore, and my “career” is shot, and though I never really wanted any of the little parasites I never had a kid of my own. Yeah, okay, I sometimes went for the easy way out ….. well, more than sometimes, but it’s a damn lie when they said all I care about is getting enough money to go get a hooker.
You don’t give a shit, do you?
Okay ….. back to Lucinda. The odd thing about her was it was her Momma who liked to walk around outside naked. She claimed to be a “naturalist sun worshiper”, or some such thing, but she was just a crazy old fat black lady who wanted to gross out the world. How a class act like Lucinda came from that mess I’ll never know.
I wonder if Mike had married her when they both still lived in Mauk if they would have stayed there? Probably not. My guess is she probably never would have married anyone living in Mauk.
I wonder why Lee Ann did?