Dwayne Comments on Tyson vs. Schopenhauer

Yeah, I saw it, though there wasn’t much to see, ya know. This was several years ago, a few years after Tyson bit Holyfield’s ear.

I didn’t really know what to expect. I never saw so many, I don’t know, odd folks at a boxing match before. They were real artsy-fartsy types. Some of them may have even been fags. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t beat the crap outta someone just ’cause you’re a gay guy. I’ve known a few mean ol’ bastards who would just as soon get off with a guy or a chick. But these were like, flamers, you know. Hell, they may not even have been homos, just weirdos.

So it was Tyson and this old German guy with mad professor type hair, up in the ring. I wasn’t expecting that. I thought ol’ whats-his-name might be some huge German Nazi hulk or something, not some old geek. At first nothing much happened. The old guy was saying something, and Tyson, well, he looked like he didn’t know what the hell was going on either. He stared back at him, as the old man continued to babble, and let me tell you Tyson looked like a deer in the headlights. I kinda felt bad for him. His career was pretty much shot, and this weird thing he was part of was surely gonna kill it off for good.

The other weird thing was as the old man mumbled whatever crap he was saying, some of the weirdos a few rows behind me got all excited, and started yelling, “Yes! The will! The will! The urge to live!”, or something like that. Goofiest bunch of people I’ve ever been around.

And then, just like that, it was all over. I think the old man musta said something like “ni@@er”. (Wouldn’t surprise me. These old white guys are all a bunch of racists.) All of a sudden Tyson looked like someone lit a fire under his ass, and like the Iron Mike of old he sprang at that old guy and hit him with a lightning bolt punch on the chin. The old guy flew backwards, landed on his back on the mat, and was out cold.

And that was it. The fight was over.

Like I said, there wasn’t much to it. I would’ve rather seen Tyson deck Robin Givens than this old fart, so don’t ask me what the point of it all was. I just hope Tyson got paid well.


Originally posted by us on FullofKnowledge.