Satisfying Your Pornographic Desire

We all have, deep in our psyche, a pornographic desire which must be satisfied, least it fester and mutate into something unhealthy. This article gives you one simple, cheap solution to the craving.

I speak, of course, of Book Porn, particularly as expounded upon in the article by the wonderful Laurie Tysinger.

Book Porn, unchecked, can be an insidious drain on your finances, particularly if your frequent bookstores. Yes, there are still some of these seedy places about, and there are still some of us who, overcome with desire, can’t resist merging our flesh with the crisp, new pages of a particularly seductive book. But here is a trick I have used three times now, in our local Barnes & Noble bookstore, to satisfy the craving without breaking my budget.

It’s very simple: just stick to the “discount books” section of the store, and allow yourself to buy just one book per visit.

My first purchase was a softback book titled, “10,000 Years of Art”, published by Phaidon Press. It’s a really cool 500 page overview of the entirely of human artistic endeavor, and cost me about $7.00 .

My second purchase was a 300 page hardback of scientific trivia called, appropriately, “Useless Science Fact-O-Pedia”. This book cost about $8.00 .

The final purchase was a hefty 700 page hardback titled, “The Book of Useless Information”. It cost me about $10.00, but I love it! For example, have you ever heard of the Battle of Karansebes in 1788, where two separate arms of the Austrian army fought, each believing the other to be the army of the Ottoman Empire? Also, that despite what we learned from the movie Braveheart, William Wallace and Isabella of France never met, and she was a mere 10 years old when he died? (What, you mean Hollywood lies to us?)

There is, however, a disturbing trend to be seen here. The purchase price of each book continues to climb. Uh oh ….. time to find a 12 step addiction recovery group, before my desire for Book Porn overwhelms me!